(fiction, by Tom Carnegie)
Joseph Vant had been away from the shop all
Friday afternoon, and though it was past closing time
he thought that it might be a good idea to stop by
the Model T Garage to make sure things had been
buttoned up properly. That is after all one of the
duties of a manager. He was surprised to find his
young minion still in the shop, working on some
project.
"What are you working on, Butch?"
"Oh, hello Joseph. I'm soldering a tube
onto the gas cap of my model T"
"Why in blazes are you doing that?"
"You know how me and Beau Dremel like
to drive around. Well, since I put the Roof head
on my Torpedo, he can't keep up with me. After I
pass him, he pulls right in behind me and I can't
shake him. What I'm going to do is use this can
of oil and through a piece of rubber tubing and a
valve, set it up so I can run the oil into my gas
tank and smoke him out. You see, when he starts
tailing me, I'll open the valve and the oil will run
from this can into the gas tank.
When it gets to the motor it should smoke like the devil himself!
I'll mount this can somewhere above the tank
level and gravity will flow it into the gas tank."
Through all three times of explaining the procedure,
Butch was somewhat violently shaking a
quart sized sewing machine oil can in the vicinity
of Joseph's nose.
"Interesting idea Butch, but it won't work
the way that you are doing it. You've soldered
the tube into the breather hole of the gas cap, and
it will cause a vacuum in the tank as the gas is
used up when the valve is closed. Here's a suggestion.
Why don't you braze a tube onto the exhaust pipe down a
few inches from the manifold?
Use steel line and make the line long enough that
the rubber tubing that is running up to the valve
on the can won't melt. Then when you turn on
the valve, it will dump the oil right into the exhaust pipe.
That should make plenty of smoke!"
"I'll try it. Where have you been all afternoon?"
"I've been at the town council meeting.
They are trying to figure out the details of the ceremonial train ride into Crescent City.
It is really just going to be ceremonial too, as the gang on the
Crescent City end hasn't gotten the track completed and won't get it completed before the
Fourth of July. The plan at this point is to run the
ceremonial train, full of ceremonial dignitaries to
some ceremonial point just out of town and then
when the hoopla dies down, back the train back
into Baton Noir and hope no one notices. By the
way, are you going to be much longer?"
"I want to change my needle and seat. I
bought a new one from the mail order catalog. It
was cheaper than getting one from Ford."
"May I take a look at it?"
Butch fished around in his pocket for a few seconds
then handed a small, perhaps one-inch long box to Joseph.
Joseph removed the needle and seat and contemplated it for a minute or so.
He then walked to the
bench and opened a small drawer and removed a
used Ford manufactured needle and seat. After a
few more moments of contemplation he turned to
Butch and said: "The hole in the new seat is about one-half
the size of the original."
"Well if that keeps it from leaking, then
I'm happy."
(end of story)